Life of Ms. Taffy: Xmas is so last year Issue

ImageHoliday Recap

Whether it’s a short 1 day break or weeks long vacation to la-la land, I hope everyone had a chance to chill out and are slightly more refreshed now that it’s 2014. Much like any crafter out there, I’ve spent my holiday mostly making stuff. Despite my hands hurting like a mofo for the past week, I’m finally back to the grind! Really for those who wonder why handmade things cost quite a bit, it’s because we need to help out the Tiger Balm and Pail Killers company.

For now though, I must remind myself what I’ve done over the weeks prior to moving on.

NOW THAT I’M A LOT OLDER… HOW TO GET THROUGH HOLIDAYS IRRESPONSIBLY:

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Rock Star? Check .
Regulard Coffee? Check.
Canned Imported Coffee? Check.
Caffeinated chocolate? Check.
Feline Greenies? Check. Wait…..What?

Ironically to survive the holidays with less sleep than I have during my work days, I’ve consumed an excessive amount of caffeine beverages and caffeine induced goods that can shorten my mortality rate.

Remember chocolate bars wrappers were made of fine quality paper and foil?

ImageFor one, I got to spend time with Roommate #1!  Hurrah for coming back to visit every few months.  Roommate #1 is the smart cookie here. Ever since she got her research project up north, “Dr. Nick” had officially become the part-time member of our house.  So it was always nice to see her and have late night foods around town. Speaking of Dr. Nick who has a fondness for brilliant Germans, we discovered a German product line from Ferrero (same peeps who brings you Ferrero Roche:  HUZZAH — Hanuta, a ferrero roche flipped inside out. Oh gods.. I’ve beem munching on this like a freaking addict. Everything from the fine quality, shiny textured paper to the hard crunchy wafers reminds me of how wafers aren’t supposed to taste like vomit. Moreover, this whole experience reminds me exactly how old I have become and how I just don’t give a crap about aging.

ImageMs. Taffy’s Kitchen Disaster

Instead of a giant dinner, Dr. Nick, Mr. C and I decided to have Mr & Mrs. Taffy over for lunch.  Seeing that I’ve spent most of my money on yarn, we ended up scoring a discounted ham on Christmas Eve. As a result, there’s no fowl on our table and instead, I’ve made some kick ass flaky buttermilk biscuits in a form of a duck. Mr.C prepared some freaking awesome honey glaze and the whole thing turned out fantastic.  The kale chips were rad, and the last minute dressing was a hit.

ImageEverything went accordingly except for the kitchen.

Apparently the aftermath is just as bad as a giant dinner for some bloody reason.  The crappy illustration is already a censored version of what our kitchen looks like.  Dr. Nick and I were considering taking the hose from the fire station down the street, handling the dishes with a napalm grenade, or put a giant tarp over it. TARP IT IS! So we let the dishes sit for a night, ate chocolate,watched Bollywood Movies and set up the tree before battling out the dirty dishes with a grenade.

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With a house full of grown adults, we each have some form of a tree. Exactly how many trees did we set up? Only 3, since my Charlie Brown Xmas Tree is in storage. Nonetheless, there’s a small one for the Jellyfish.  Oh right–Molly gets to celebrate her “holiday” with her sister Molly this year!

With Questionable Maturity comes

a number of questionable gifts–namely the following:

IMAG1159

First off, the wind-up fighting grandads aren’t hardcore enough.  We passed the toy around to see if someone is playing it improperly, but the toy isn’t even 1/3 as grumpy as my gramps *cough*.  With that said, I had the inclination to take it up a notch by making the fighting grandads battle our house’s Ultimate Bro-Gnome for a candy cane. Legend has it that the granddads hit the Bro Gnome in the crotch and the gnome keeled over while bobbling its head.

IMAG1142_2

What we haven’t tried yet is to amalgamate the two gifts: Donkey Kong Jenga with Fighting Grandads set off during the person’s round. Seeing that we are moderately skilled by continuing multiple rounds after despite having a tower that look like this, I think it’s game on.

jenga

Peace out.  Yarn-related post will follow shortly.

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